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 If you’ve ever tried to change an unhealthy habit, you know it isn’t easy. Many people get stuck in the process and return to their old behaviors. In this column, we explore the stages of change that all
people go through—awareness, skill-building, and maintenance. Here you’ll find tools to help you form healthy new habits successfully.
Imagine that you’ve decided to quit smoking and a close friend says, “You’re doing great! I’m proud of you.” You’d probably feel confident and motivated to continue. Now imagine another friend saying, “What are you trying to prove? We both know this won’t work.” That kind of feedback would make it harder for you to stay focused on your goal.
The Words You Use
Insults and doubts can undermine your best intentions. The surprising thing is how often the messages that influence our behavior start inside our own minds. Most people have a running dialogue of positive and negative things that they say to themselves. This internal dialogue plays an important role in success. Athletes often use positive thoughts and images to prepare for competition. A runner who gives herself a pre-race pep talk will most likely run faster than an equally fast athlete who calls herself a loser as she laces her shoes.
Accentuate the Positive
You can apply this principle to your efforts to adopt healthy behaviors. The first step is to pay attention to what you say to yourself. Do you hear a string of negative thoughts? Many people put themselves down without even realizing it. Once you identify your internal put-downs, replace them with positive thoughts. If on your third day of going to the gym, you think, “I’m going to fail,” you probably won’t be going to the gym much longer. Try this instead: “I’ve completed my exercise routine these past two days and I can do it today too.”
Pay attention to your internal
voice: Is it a confidence builder
or buster? You may not have
control over what your friends
think, but you can practice thinking
well of yourself. It can help build
your self-confidence—and help you
succeed.
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