Many people now believe that domestic violence is a concern, yet they may not understand the full scope of the problem. Here are some facts from the American Medical Association that can help put it in perspective:
- Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the United States.
- Nearly one-quarter of women in the United States will be abused by a current or former partner at some time during their lives.
- Battered women account for 19 to 30 percent of women seeking care for any reason in emergency rooms.
Given these statistics, it is likely that at some point you have known or will know someone who is a victim of domestic abuse. Or you may be one of those victims yourself.
Domestic violence touches people of every race, age, sexual orientation and socioeconomic range. The abuse can be physical, sexual and/or psychological. If you are a victim of domestic violence or know someone who is, these suggestions may help.
Explore Your Options
Anyone in an abusive situation knows that trying to get out of the situation can be difficult and even dangerous. However, this doesn’t mean that you don’t have options. First, contact your local domestic violence organization (listed in the telephone directory) or the National Domestic Violence Hotline (DVH) at 800-799-SAFE or 800-787-3224 (TTY). It provides crisis intervention, information and referrals to local organizations.
Make a Safety Plan
A safety plan is a list of things you can do to help increase your safety and that of your children. For example, identify areas in the house that are safe — where there are no weapons and where you can go during an argument. Try to keep a phone nearby so that you can call for help (get a cell phone, if possible) and memorize important numbers. Let neighbors or friends you trust know about the situation and develop visual or verbal signals that you can use to tell them that abuse is occurring.
Preparing to Leave
Changing or leaving an abusive situation requires careful planning. If you’ve decided to leave, here are some ways you can prepare:
Tell someone about the abuse. Know where you can get help and who can help you.
Find out about your rights. Learn about the laws in your state that protect women. Also, look up local resources, such as battered women’s shelters, and ask for help.
Keep important documents, such as bank book, credit cards, address book, identification cards, birth certificates and documentation of abuse, together in a safe place.
Put aside money if you can and hide an extra set of car keys.
Plan for a quick escape and know where and how you will escape. You can ask for a police escort when you leave and get an order of protection.
Acquire job skills as you can. This can help you become financially independent.
While there is danger in leaving, it’s also dangerous to continue to live with an abuser — the violence usually becomes more frequent and severe over time. You can’t stop an abuser’s actions. But you can take steps to get out of the abusive situation and begin to put your life back on track.
To learn more, go to the Web site for the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence at www.ncadv.org.
—Mary Jones
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