Terrorism: Dealing with Fear
Photo of mother and child; plane and biosuit in background
For IndividualsFor ParentsInternet Resources

The terrorist attacks and the anthrax scare have aroused feelings of fear and anxiety in many people. How can we cope with feeling as though our world is spinning out of control? Professional counselors and psychologists, including those at the American Psychiatric Association and National Institute of Mental Health, offer advice.

For Parents

What should I tell my kids about what's happening?
Be honest with them, but in an age-appropriate way. A younger child doesn't need to know lots of details. For this reason, it's best to limit a young child's viewing of the news or of hearing an adult discussion of the situation. An older child will want to know more, and may be upset if he or she feels you are withholding information.

Should I hide my fear and worry from my kids, or share my feelings with them?
Children are sensitive and can pick up on your fears, so try to speak calmly and stick to the facts of the situation when discussing it. On the other hand, don't make light of a serious situation as if nothing is happening. It's OK to share how you feel with your kids, and let them know that it's normal to feel scared or worried. But it's also important to share that adults become more able to deal with these situations and that they will have that ability when they mature.

How can I help my children cope with fear?
Photo of mother hugging her sonEncourage your kids to talk. Then, listen to what your children say and let them know you understand what they are feeling. Let your kids know that you are there to protect them and that you love them. Hugs and kisses help back up your reassuring words. Try to maintain a "normal" routine; this can help reassure a child.

What are symptoms of anxiety/fear/worry in kids?
Children may not say or even know what they are feeling, so you have to watch for clues. Children who feel anxious may:

  • Depend more on parents or guardians
  • Have nightmares
  • Go back to acts of an earlier age (such as thumb-sucking or bed-wetting)
  • Fear things that remind them of the traumatic event
  • Act out the event at play

Children also may have separation anxiety, cry more than usual, have trouble at school and complain of physical problems. Teens may become depressed, anxious, antisocial, emotionally numb or have problems sleeping.

How do I know if my child should see a counselor?
A child who seems worried a lot, or who can't seem to get over the worry, may have a problem. If you think your child is having a problem, seek help. Your child's school counselor may be a good place to start when looking for professional help.

My parents are in their late 70s. Are they feeling as fearful as I am?
Older adults who have survived the Great Depression and World War II may be better able to cope with what's happening than younger generations. It can be because they've lived through more. They may see themselves as survivors, with a sense of having lived a full life.

Older adults often worry about their children and grandchildren -- those they would leave behind.

How can I help ease my parents' worries?
Encourage them to focus on structure. Many older adults can benefit from reviewing their wills and financial status. This is a good time to discuss with your parents their plans for long-term care. Do they want to go to a nursing home? Have they made funeral plans?

But beyond that, encourage your parents to enjoy life. They shouldn't cancel holiday or travel plans. This is the time to visit the grandchildren, or invite the grandchildren to visit them. One idea: Acknowledge that the world has changed by initiating a new family tradition this holiday season, but make it something positive and life affirming.


Sources: American Psychological Association; Dianne Chambless, Ph.D., distinguished professor of psychology at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill; Elizabeth Berger, M.D., child psychiatrist in the Philadelphia area; American Psychiatric Association; American Association of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry; National Institute of Mental Health; Paula Levine, Ph.D., psychologist in private practice in Miami and director of the Agoraphobia Resource Center.